oh my god you guys Chris Evans’s mother is teaching him how to use twitter via twitter

A man did not actually kick the chicken. He was simply pushing it out of the way. With his foot.
To hell with honor. A girl has swag.

Behold my sword foul being!
I hold it firmly in my grasp as custom of my people
Thrust your gaze upon it and imagine your demise
cretin

SEVEN YOUNG LADIES STAND BEFORE ME … BUT I ONLY HAVE SIX PHOTOS IN MY HANDS.
AND THESE PHOTOS … REPRESENT THE GIRLS … WHO ARE STILL IN THE RUNNING TOWARD BECOMING … AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.
I’M KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY. NONE OF YOU ARE TALL ENOUGH FOR RUNWAY WORK, PLUS I DON’T HAVE HANDS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND GO PLAY IN THE YARD. I NEED TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP.
